Jeff Ross @realjeffreyross…My mood just died of Covid-19.
Linda @turtledumplin…Nothing makes you feel dumber than trying to help your 14-year-old with their math homework.
Larry The Cable Guy @GitRDoneLarry…I really don’t understand why Las Vegas had to be closed. I mean, if you didn’t contract anything when it was open…you’re good.
Laura Marie @lmegordon…Other girls wear their husbands’ clothes and they look cute, but I borrowed some cargo shorts this morning and now I’ve got a landscaping business.
The Notorious B.E.V. @blade_funner…A crab has one big arm because that’s the one he uses to bring all the groceries in.
Gravy @offbeatoliv…If “life is a highway” then I just ran over spike strips.